piscespixies

[Growing Up - Run River North]

Do you see that infinite white line on the side of the road? It reminds me of something similar to everything that is in life; family, friends, love. I think... As you grow older, you will start taking notice of things, the bigger picture if you please -- it's funny. 

Why is it funny? Because before, we tend to ignore the bigger picture nor the little things -- the more you age and experience the never-ending sorrows that life brings, you would much rather look at the silver lining as oppose to the raging storm happening. 

Growing up scares me, does it scare you? From a naive little girl with a variety of barbie collections, Tony Hawk video games and a tiny diary, shape shifted into this 19 year old basket case -- it's not a bad thing. 

From crying over head bumps, falling towards the concrete, cat scratches, knife cuts, douchebags, backstabbing, rumours, misunderstanding, death to not crying at all. 

Time changes so fast, it either gets difficult or easy. My choice is the latter.

I don't know if I have become stronger or I don't care about anything at all -- but the truth to the matter is, I care a lot and I feel too much. Is that so bad? No.

I have always take chances because of a cliche fact; life is short.

 Life is short, what are you going to do about it? 

Be extraordinary.

I'm getting bad again and I'm scared what I might do.

2nd July 2014, Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

[Watching The Storm - U137]

To me,

love is an omen.

Good or evil --

but evil seems more suitable

based on my past experiences.

Blessed with a curious mind,

and the ability to charm.

Cursed with not knowing how to love,

being highly emotional 

and my impracticality.

Flaws 

combined with dark thoughts

 cloud my sense of perseverance.

It's okay.

I don't know where this is heading,

but loving one's self 

is more liberating 

than loving another.

I love myself enough,

to know what I deserve.

Do you?

[Nothing Arrived - Villagers]

Broken Lights & Snapping Knees

There are things you can't see

but glimmers in the night sky

From places;

beyond where we stand,

beyond this location

tells us that it exists

Broken lights

with broken hearts

linger in uncut grass

makes this place look cultural

Twisted ankles

and falling

Gravity doesn't fool people like us

Pull yourself together

We can be infinite

in time

and time will tell

Questions unanswered

we wander off

to not be bothered

You think you know what we are

You shaped us

to being something we aren't

The sky is the limit

and that's where dreams exist

Young blood gallivanting

never-ending quest

of self discovery

Our feet will give in

but our souls won't go weary

This is what we live for

This is what life should be.

________________________________________________________________________

a spontaneous poem written by yours truly and M,Y while hanging out at the skatepark around 9pm with our friends.

melt my heart and warm soul, i love you Toro y Moi.

[Hiding Tonight - Alex Turner]

I

I am constructed by a cosmic dust,

the leftovers of the Big Bang. 

I am the constellation of things you want to put away,

the bitter memories you had of me,

you couldn't wait.

I am the moon hiding behind the dark clouds,
petrified by the pass of daylight,

but still willing to brighten up the night.

I am a universal mess,

whatever you are,

wherever you may be,

your mess is mine.

[Wonderwall - Oasis]

I know, I know, the song is overrated for some people, but it is more of an 'old but gold' kind of thing for me, especially in my current state. 

A dear friend of mine was kind enough to have mentioned me in his blog. He was tagged to do a 'Blogger Interview' which I find quite interesting as it is one of the ways for viewers to know more about who we are and our intentions (not that we haven't showcased it enough in our blogs itself, but yknow what I mean). 

Without further ado, I will do the exact same thing in order for y'all to know what's up: 

How did  you get into blogging?

I can't pinpoint on exactly how I am suddenly into it, however, I knew ever since then I craved expressionism through art, music and writing. I started my first blog when I was in my most naive stage; 14 years old. It is still present, out in the open and obviously, embarrassing. Think I have blabbed and copy paste a hell lot of cheesy 'guy-who-I-liked-but-doesn't-notice-me-related song lyrics and posts. I visited my old blog in June and my God, I have never cringed so hard in my life. With the words of Fleetwood Mac, "i'm never going back again," and I intend it to be that way... for now. 

What advice would you give to a blogger starting out?

Write what you think is good and how you truly feel. Most people find it incredibly challenging to express their feelings, for those who are able, you are damn lucky. A blog is the sole platform where you have freedom of speech, use it to your advantage. Be original, creative, and be you, that is all!

What would be your dream campaign?

It would definitely be exposing the creative side in my country, Brunei. I am slowly exposed to that particular scene ever since a friend of mine and I have worked with Collective Art Events. Brunei has potential, the more I get to know the people who are involved with the arts, the more I want to stay here and help out. They opened up my eyes and mind, they are cool and chilled as hell and I couldn't ask for a better experience. 

Do you have a plan for your blog?

Not at all. I have lived a life where everything's all about going with the flow and I intend to keep it that way. But a plan does come into mind when it is business related or requested because the need for it to be close to perfect and structured is important. Although, when it comes to it in general, nahh, planning sucks, I post whatever I like and it tends to be all over the place!

What do you think about rankings?

Rankings are total bullshit, man. What is freedom of speech when you are mostly concerned about what people think of you and whether or not your posts(which so happens to be from your heart and soul) are criticised. No amount of ranking or judgments would be sufficient enough to the amount of appreciation and hugs you deserve for being a bad ass motherfucker because you poured your heart out publicly. I am damn proud of you and you should be too.

_______________________________________________________________________________

That is the end of it, I sincerely hope the answers made sense. 

Oh and here's the lad's thoughts' haven: 

H. Fadhilah : https://medleynotions.wordpress.com/

Rabbit Hole

"I am Alice. I have been walking aimlessly in search of happiness and love, possibly freedom as well. I came across this enchanting rabbit whose fur is as pale as my skin. He is very persuasive, manipulative too, He told me he could fulfill my wishes if I would join him for an exciting adventure. He promised he will show the colours in the world. 

I was invited to his universe, oh how beautiful it was. I had fun, I did. But lately, I am always left alone and lost in the rabbit hole."

The rabbit is every person that was in my life, not just one. The rabbit also includes my own demon. 

Blue Moon Girl

"I am scared... I am terrified," she said repeatedly.
"It feels like I am staying still in the big ocean, letting the huge tide take over and swallow me whole."

"Everyday, I have the need to carry this heavy weight on my shoulders and chest even if I know the other person doesn't feel the same way as I do... Everyday.

What am I doing to myself?

These imaginary bricks are stacking day by day and they are getting heavier -- I am in pain, can't you see it?

Help me... Help me."

She who needs the most care takes care of everyone but herself 

-- it's kind of a funny yet sad story to tell.

She is fragile yet strong,

and you find that endearing.

Her innocence is addictive,

however, it is her dark side that made you hold onto her.

She is real and you appreciate every honesty she has given to you.

But, she is self-destructive,

cannot afford to be alone or express any affection.

Nonetheless, 

she needs you,

all of you,

every single day.

Though someday she will leave,

know that her intentions were good.

Leaving a mark is part of her,

making sure that the mark is caused by something extraordinary is her gift. 

She will go all out in order to make sure the light that left you comes back.
Her spontaneity has caused you to experience many great things in life -- things that you have never thought you could do.

Appreciate the very existence of this being,

because she will only appear once in your life.

____________________________________________________________________________

this post varies on every person who decides to read it, it depends on who came to mind while doing so. Who is your Blue Moon Girl?

Garden
/ˈɡɑːd(ə)n/

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you” I said
hand on my chest,
coping with the pain.
“I love you, I love you… I loved you” was my intention
because you made the garden,
you made the flowers grow,
and you put colours in my life,
even if you had to go.

[Honey, It's Alright - Gregory Alan Isakov]

I cannot explain the words to you,

but it feels right.

It has been a tedious drive to get to where I am now,

where we are.

A month is long enough for you to know who I truly am,

is it good enough to know who you are?

A month of laughter, patience, lust, arguments and jealousy.

How do you see me now?

I am growing old,

 am I still the same?

What do I see in you?
I see myself.

Bad past written all over the walls in the present 

despite the changes we have tried to make.

It haunts us.

Don't be too afraid

don't be too concerned.

Words of rumours come from empty minded souls.

Caged in their own body;

no where to go,

nothing significant to talk about.

Immaturity comes naturally for them

and it is difficult to let go.

I am glad we aren't the same as the mindless beings of the world.

I know you are all I got,

you know it's got to feel right. 

I cannot seem to sleep well these days. Overthinking is a bad habit that I couldn't change instantly, it takes time. I was prescribed with clonazepam, yet again. Taking one would show I am weak, I don't want to disappoint myself but it will shut the noises in my head and make me sleep soundly.

Anyway, I found a band on Soundcloud and their music is quite good. They're called Tropic of Youth. As I close my eyes and sink into their music, I couldn't help but just drown in an ocean deep of indie goodness. I love it.

Enjoy x

It is close to 7am on a rainy Thursday morning. To match the gloomy weather, here is a band that dearest Shasha reposted on Soundcloud. You can always trust her music choices, she has a gift when it comes to this. 

The Japanese House has a subtle The 1975 vibe and it is incredibly chilled for its own good. To say that I am in love is an understatement. 

"...but you know I still wake up with you every morning like we're still dead"

The month is coming to an end and August is approaching.

What is your perception of this change? How do you feel?

Ignore the exaggeration up there. I made a cover of Robbers only because of what has happened within this week. 

This is the only platform where I can talk about myself without feeling the need to apologise for doing so. I am trying my best to refrain from talking about this particular topic because I know it is annoying and I know people are tired of hearing about my stories. I have therapy tomorrow and I honestly thought I would be fine by now. I am numb and lost. Can't you hear my cry for help? No? It is fine. I can do this alone.

I always do.

[Robbers - The 1975]

Whispers in my head told you to stay, 

stay.

Strangers in the dark coexisted,

funny how life works.

Beautiful brains like yours belong somewhere extravagant,

exhilarating yet familiar.

Constant cravings for something intense and passionate.

You let your words out without any hesitation and it is admirable.

It doesn't have to end now unless you let it.

Cowardly actions are despised by people like me,

but who am I to say when I myself am a cowardly lioness.

Time chases you despite how fast you run,

it is okay to stay still.

Breathe

Revolving around bad timings,

I never knew what luck is til I let myself appreciate the little things.

Be kind and patient.

Always

I hope my kindness affected someone,

I hope I was worth your time.

Though I might leave for now,

we will see each other when it is right.

God has better plans, and I trust him wholeheartedly.

I hope you do too.

Hey guys! This post will be short and slightly cheesy, for me that is. 

You know how some people were born to seek for love and affection and others chose their goals over love? I think I was meant to be the latter. After tons and tons of heartbreaks and bad timings, I have realized that it has always been my goals. Maybe I was too emotionally and mentally involved with achieving my goals to let myself fall for another 'perfect' human being. I was given the chance to, but I just didn't know how. 

 My life has been blessed lately by loads of opportunities in the creative arts department and I am forever grateful. The fact is, I made that happen, me(with a little help from my friends, of course)! It's ridiculous to hear that coming out from your own mouth. I took a brave step to expose myself, expose my emotions through various forms of arts and finally, thank God, they noticed. 

Being seen and acknowledged via your art work, be it through poetry, music or paintings, it is somewhat similar to stripping naked. Your art is an expression of your soul and you were willing to express it which proves how brave of a person you are. I have realized that it is not an easy task to do -- not all of us could gather up the courage to show our naked souls to someone, or everyone. 

It needs to be appreciated. 

Creative arts are important especially for my generation. It is difficult for us to express ourselves with oldies complaining or lecturing on how rude it is to even give our slightest opinion all the time. Seriously? There is no freedom of speech and the arts are still oppressed. 

Therefore, we will take a stand.

This shall be the time where you will notice some changes. 

"Art is a way of survival." - Yoko Ono

I have been quite busy today and I loved every minute of it as I needed a productive distraction. Mims was given an opportunity to film a piece for Collective Arts in a rustic boutique in Kiulap, L'Orient, and he was kind enough to invite me to come along and help. I will post a few photos of the activity. It was worth it, I had fun -- I am thankful.

[But I Do - Now, Now]

I am currently in between tables in my office, hiding in the dark attempting to avoid the true darkness that is about to resurface. 

I am terrified.

A year ago, the constant reminder that I gave myself was "it's okay to not be strong. Sometimes a person can hold this much" But at the moment, I am forcing myself to fight it. I need to be strong for myself and everyone else.

I have to.

The obligation to keep your sanity on neutral mode is pressurized by society and the people who are close to you. For those who are fortunate enough, they are accepted by whatever emotional stages they are in -- I am one of those fortunate people.

I am grateful. I couldn't ask for more than what I have right now. 

My circle of friends finally made me feel like I am worth living in this horrid world and showed me how beautiful flaws can be in any form -- I couldn't thank them enough. 

Without you guys, I wouldn't be here. 

Thank you, 

thank you,

thank you.

Week 11

What is it like to surround yourself

with people who rarely care that you're there?

They won't notice you didn't attend class or even if you are sitting in front of them.

Your words are like vapour and you, yourself are merely a crack on the sidewalk. 

Some who are lucky enough would consider you as a paradox -- a walking paradox.

But some aren't as lucky.

 Some would simply think you're a dust that they could just wave away like some kind of random memory that are not worth recalling.

Why do you try?

You don't have to. 

You don't have to prove anything to someone that you are worthy.

Why do you care even if you remind yourself you don't need to?

Anxiety crawls up on you like the chills in your bones when you pass by a freezing room or an old abandoned house.

You cannot not care what others think despite your effort.

[New York - Urban Cone]

These are the years life tests your strength and commitment.

This is the year where people who changed you leave to make a better version of themselves.

This will be the year where you discover who you are. 

I feel a little melancholy

but I guess that has become a norm.

I feel out of place

I don't know where I stand.

I feel too much

I know,

and I won't apologise.

I want to leave this place

so I can find where I belong,

a place where I can call home.

This is not a poem,

this is a train of thought.

It is 7am on a Thursday,

please stay.

I can't offer you much,

this is all I have.

I will save you the sob story

and prove to you I might be the best.

I am only 18,

and it is a big world.

I used to prefer going on an adventure alone,

thinking it would be worthwhile

But I am tired of being alone.

Adventures are meant to be shared.

No idea where this is going,

I am going to end it here and now.

Have a good day,

I lack creativity,

sorry.

Sometimes you can't force yourself to be all sunshine and rainbows when the dark is stronger than you are. 

I think I am slowly losing it.

I don't have anything to say lately besides the usual girl talk with mims and Shasha. I still crave for an intellectual conversation where two parties can learn more from each other -- be it about politics, conspiracy theories or even a fucking band. 

These are merely distractions though... Distractions from the real core problem which is my own thoughts. I was told that I tend to make a big deal out of little things when in fact the person who expressed that opinion magnifies his problem 10x worse. 

I can't do it anymore, my patience are running low. 

Why waste my energy and effort for someone who doesn't appreciate the help they received? 

Why waste a minute of my life when they would rather leave in the end and still be as arrogant and stubborn?

It is fucking useless and I am sick of it.

Reality check, the world doesn't revolve around you. Face your problem for the love of God, do it. Open your mind and stop saying that you will die unhappy or unfulfilled.

You live and you die. 

People leave and you move on.

At least be fucking mature about it and look at the silver lining despite how fucking stormy your day is because if we can do it, so can you.

Like I said, I am slowly losing it. 

Hey guys! I apologise for my absence as I've been busy bcs of the internship which I wholeheartedly adore and appreciate (no ragrets for the spontaneous email I sent to my boss once upon a time). 

Such a funny thing life is, you don't always know what's bound to happen -- you make it happen(if God is willing) and it is usually a surprise, be it good or bad. I like it and I like where I am right now.

I am currently drowning in total comfort like a certified couch potato in the TV room while trying to comprehend whatever is in my mind. Let me try to narrow down the interesting factors that has happened recently.

(Clears throat)

My train of thought crashed against a hypothetical brick wall and I was not able to grasp anything. 

I am sorry. 

You see, I am working as an editor for a local magazine and don't get me wrong, I love writing to death. However, you can't expect those words to come at you like ocean waves -- you would have to force them to come out of your brain and to your finger tips and type the crap out of it until your brain is on its brink to shut down. That's when shit goes down -- you end up brain dead and have no idea how to interact properly right after. 

The more I write, the more I lack social skills. I do try my best, trust me, I try so damn hard to impress people that I don't even know. It's a Leo thing.

Other times, I rather stay inside my room or some place quiet where I can be alone with my thoughts and music. The most frequent thought at the moment is the reoccurring fact that I, this goofy melancholy soul, is turning 19 within less than a month. 

I honestly don't know how/what to feel about that. In reality, growing up is a scary thing.

 I am terrified yet excited. 

A few close friends of mine have already planned where/how to celebrate my 19th and I do hope it will be enjoyable. If not, that's fine too. I can always go chill with whoever I want and whenever.

That's the only thing I like about birthdays; a free pass for doing anything I wish.

(I sound like a spoiled brat, I promise you, I am not)

Now I am far too tired and lazy to continue this semi-meaningless post.

Have a good night and Eid Mubarak!

The month of May was incredibly tiring and as the day went by, the more drainage it caused to my brain. The multimedia team and I were working super hard for our short film while trying to complete our assignments before the deadline. Then we proceed to revising for our final examinations which was on the first week of June.

Within the last few weeks, I have been going out a lot in order to keep my thoughts at bay and avoid being at home. Enjoying my time with the misfits and basket case on spontaneous road trips and losing our voices by singing out loud -- our lives were something that came out of a movie at that moment. We had sleepovers and deep conversations. A few broke down while doing so and everyone was genuinely there; present, listening and understanding. I have never had those in my life before, I had only two but they were distracted most of the time. So, seeing the way my current circle of friends deal with one of their episodes were endearing and it made me feel secure. Being a basket case my whole life is a challenge, they can relate. Yes, it is cliche to be an outcast, truth be told, there were not enough movies/films or books to acknowledge the life of my "kind/character".

Going back to when I was 12, Green Day made me realise I was a basket case and since then, 'Basket Case' was and is my life's anthem. People rarely understood me because I was peculiar in some ways. I tried exhaustively to conceal my inner kookiness in order for others to accept me. It took me awhile to adjust and change my perspective. I have opened up and been exposed to various types of people -- within those tedious years of bumping into the rights and wrongs, the bitches and assholes; I am glad to say that I have found my band of misfits cause I know where I belong... as for now. Sharing personal information as well as mixtapes are common for us. We expose our inner-selves or souls to each other and that is the most rewarding thing I could ever ask for.

Few weeks of fun and laughter exhausted me and my brain, especially. A friend of mine slept over here few nights ago, I invited over two of my friends to bake some cookies and jam to music. An hour after, they were told to leave, as it was early and me trying to ground myself, I told her to join the boys so she'll have at least a good time with them rather than staying here helping me clean up.
It may sound like it wasn't a big deal, but I was embarrassed that they were forced to leave as soon as possible. It triggered something in me, therefore, I broke down. It is frequently a norm for me to break down, however that night was antithetical. Millions of thoughts crashed like tsunami waves in my tired brain and I was in an incredibly vulnerable state. I cried for hours while listening to The Fray hoping they'll help -- but it made matters worse. Being lectured in the Asian household is conventional and is considered as a daily routine for parents, especially for someone like me. Not only my exhausted self is making me weak, also my emotions took over. I used an old friend of mine, the razor and did a few cuts on my right arm. Considering that I had an acute anxiety attack, I took approximately three tablets of clonazepam to ease it off. What I didn't realise was I took all ten and since then, I could not remember what happened. All I am able to recall is the moment I opened the door when my friend came back and I blacked out until the next day, at 7am. The first thing I did was attempting to stand up but couldn't because I was uncoordinated and numb. I felt nauseous and vomited twice which was not a good sign.

To save you from the treacherous occurrences that went on; I checked in myself to the ER and spent a night at the hospital because I was overdosed. There was a question repeated in my mind: "are you sure you accidentally took all 10mg in order to keep your thoughts and emotions at bay, or did you expect to OD on the pills and end your life?" It's a terrifying question, if I had to say so myself.

I still haven't figured it out yet. Maybe, some part of me would've wanted me to die, and the other wanted me to wait for awhile, it's not the time yet. I couldn't find the core problem of it all -- doctors and people kept on shoving similar questions down my throat: "what triggered it?" "were you upset?" And all I was able to answer was: "I took two to three pills expecting them to keep me calm from my anxiety attack while watching a TV show. I didn't realise I took ten and everything was a blur since then."

My friends told me I was lucky my body rejected the drugs.  I wasn't myself that day -- it was scary. I was scared and confused most of the time -- of course I was, I still am. Despite wanting to be independent, a person needs love and someone who understands plus takes good care of them from time to time. I have only had that when I was a kid. After growing up to the sad news that I was adopted, I have lost my trust and comfort in my home and with my family. I know they accept and love me -- once you knew that you didn't belong, you're an alien. In all honesty, I do appreciate their effort, I do. Some things are meant to be separated, if that makes sense. I was meant to be given away from my birth parents and move into a decent home with people who love me. Same thing applies to life and death; you live, learn, love and then you die surrounded by the people you've lived with and loved. I was brought up religiously with a side of affection. I appreciated that. Dad is currently working hard, he's always been, in order to get us to wherever we want to go; achieving our goals and also coping with the economy. I am grateful, I hope they know that.

There was a nurse from the ER who shared her story about her adopted sister. She told me she tried her best to ensure her sister feels like she belongs with the family and that they love her like their own. "You're still young, and beautiful. You have so much to live for. Promise me I won't see you here ever again," she said. I teared up and hugged her twice and couldn't thank her enough.

A day after I was discharged, which is today; my parents came to me worrying about their reputation on what people might think. I deleted the post of me on the ER yesterday because I know the consequences, hence them telling me that if it isn't important, do not post it. I could've died if my body did not reject the drugs, but I guess it isn't important.

They didn't know that, whenever I am alone, for 7 years now I have held it in... I didn't talk to them, I didn't have friends to talk to back then -- I was alone. They didn't know that whenever I am alone, I always go to God and pray my heart out with watery eyes like a broken tap. These constant thoughts and images automatically run through me and to my left hand -- all I need is either a keypad or pen and paper to write them down. My parents don't get how crazy I can get if I were to keep my thoughts locked up in a hypothetical cage rather than letting them out in written form. I wish I could express it verbally like normal people do, I tried to sometimes but I tend to choke on my words -- tongue tied. Such a coward.

Clearly, my situation effects them, all of them. I am not blind. I may be in denial for most things, but not this. I am sorry.

I am in an endless battle with myself. It is not the 'demons' or anything. I am with God, and I do believe he is watching over me despite my actions. Parents don't see what our generation see; life is complicated, praying does help, friends do too. Those who are unfortunate depend on drugs to get high when they're at their lowest, or commit suicide because they thought it was the only way to end the unbearable pain.
As for me, praying, friends, music and writing are my sanity. Surrounding myself with people who have done things that aren't particularly 'religious' is definitely a challenge. But I try to remind them to hold onto their faith -- it worries me whenever they have their own episodes and I am not good with handling emotional things which is highly ironic as I am the most emotional person in our circle. However, that does not mean I cannot be there for them. I try to, I hope it's enough. If not, I am sorry.

My episodes can be tolerable, other times they are destructive. I am a time bomb -- someday I can spontaneously combust and I am sorry too.

"Just because someone looks strong, doesn't mean nothings wrong, because even the strongest person needs a shoulder to cry on."

Suicide is not how I would want my book's ending to be. My story has just begun and I intend to make it worth the read. Maybe I should name it 'The Band of Misfits vs Reality.' Sounds kinda cool, doesn't it?

Good afternoon! How are you guys? I hope life is treating you well.

 I am going to update something that I have read recently on the internet which triggered something inside me -- I am experiencing a portion of what this woman has experienced and the letter she wrote to her 'future love of her life' is simply amazing. 

source: here

Dear Future Love of My Life:

I know. I should have written before. Forgive me. But I got the feeling that you were beginning to think I didn’t exist. But I do. And I wanted to let you know that while I might be as elusive as a unicorn grazing in a field of four-leaf clovers, I’m close. I’m around the corner, down the street, on Facebook, in your office, at our local coffee shop, a complete stranger. I made eyes at you once on the subway. I saw you across the room at a party. I swiped you right on Tinder. But it’s not our time yet. And I know you’re wondering why.

It’s really not fair that you’ve had to wait this long, or go on blind dates, endure bad sex, settle for ‘meh’ relationships, feel misunderstood, cry from loneliness, wrap your arms around a pillow as you fall asleep at night. I’m so sorry, my love. You deserve an explanation. So, here it goes. It’s taken me a long time to even admit this to myself much less to you, so please know that everything I’ve written here is true.

The reasons we haven’t met yet, in no particular order:

1. I haven’t thrown out the list of things I think you should be.

2. I’m with the wrong person right now.

Be patient with me, darling heart. Know that I’m working my way toward you. So don’t spend any more time thinking about where I am or am not. Just keep making your life exciting and full, so when we do finally come together, we can bring each other joy, because we are already happy.

I know it’s taking longer than you’d like. It’s a hell of a lot slower than I could have ever imagined. But I’m here. This is me talking to you. And I’m not going anywhere.

Don’t give up on me.

Yours, in perpetuity,

The Love You Haven’t Met Yet

INGREDIENTS

Batter

1 tablespoon: baking powder

1 pinch of salt

1 teaspoon: sugar of your choice

1/2 teaspoon: vanilla extract

1 ripe banana, peeled 

2 eggs 

2 tablespoons: melted unsalted butter

300ml: milk of your choice

225g: plain flour

For cooking

vegetable oil

or

unsalted butter

For serving

maple syrup

sliced bananas

optional:

confectioners' sugar

INSTRUCTIONS

Medium bowl: whisk together the dry ingredients
(flour, baking powder, sugar and salt)

Small bowl: cut the banana into small pieces and put in the bowl to mash with a fork until smooth.

Add the eggs, milk, vanilla extract and whisk everything. 

Pour the wet ingredients, along with the melted butter into the medium bowl to mix with the dry ingredients. Make sure to not over-mix!

Heat a smooth griddle or a pan on the stove.

When you cook the pancakes, take note that when the upper side is bubbling, it's time to cook the other side. Time may vary, but it usually takes up to 1 minute or so.

Serve the pancakes while still hot with maple syrup and sliced bananas.

Have fun cooking!