[But I Do - Now, Now]

I am currently in between tables in my office, hiding in the dark attempting to avoid the true darkness that is about to resurface. 

I am terrified.

A year ago, the constant reminder that I gave myself was "it's okay to not be strong. Sometimes a person can hold this much" But at the moment, I am forcing myself to fight it. I need to be strong for myself and everyone else.

I have to.

The obligation to keep your sanity on neutral mode is pressurized by society and the people who are close to you. For those who are fortunate enough, they are accepted by whatever emotional stages they are in -- I am one of those fortunate people.

I am grateful. I couldn't ask for more than what I have right now. 

My circle of friends finally made me feel like I am worth living in this horrid world and showed me how beautiful flaws can be in any form -- I couldn't thank them enough. 

Without you guys, I wouldn't be here. 

Thank you, 

thank you,

thank you.