up in the air, 2017

if you were to ask me few years ago if i’ll be able  to get out of the rabbit hole and slowly learn what it means to live life ...


if you were to ask me
few years ago
if i’ll be able 
to get out of the rabbit hole
and slowly learn what it means to live life
and achieve my dreams,
i would laugh in disbelief.
once a girl who depended on
people’s acceptance and validation
 has shape shifted into this stranger
 whose intention is merely a pursuit of happiness.

here i am
up in the air
a dreamer and curious being
with fear of heights
however,
my worries evaporate 
every single time the sky is in arm’s reach
it feels like i’m flying
i know i am
and whatever that holds me back 
cease to exist.

i never thought i’d make it
i never stop doubting myself either
but i kept on trying…
i am well aware how life can be
how anger, sadness or loneliness 
can eat you alive and leave you numb…
but
the crooked photographs on my wall
remind me i’m loved
the stacked books and journals of inspirations and heartbreaks
my entire world within a mediocre device
have helped me.
this is my home now,
and i've made it.

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