Stuck On The Puzzle - Alex Turner

Note: I wrote this last night when I was out 

It is me. Wanting to get solid proof on how I am not worthy to be in a relationship of any kind with someone who loves me for whichever sides I have in my bipolar moments. Now I am sitting across him. I am not present as I took one dose of clonazepam which is making me feel light as a feather and it is obviously affecting my brain neurons as I struggle to type this out nor talk properly. I feel numb. I guess this is the point of the medicine; to feel nothing.

Some nights are silent. These are the nights where both parties give in. A lot of thoughts and unanswered questions revolve around our heads but none has the initiative to speak up. It hurts though because of how selfish it is. We cling to our egos as if our life depends on it. This is some Daughter's Still shit going on and this is what I have feared the most.

What happened to two best friends laughing incessantly out of the blue and not give a care in the world? We are growing old and there's nothing left to lose but our self perseverance and that scares me... Does it scare you too?