piscespixies: babbles

10:49

Recently, I was watching a movie that would fall under my list of "realistic romantic movies" and it's A Lot Like Love. It made me think about love and timing. The movie depicts the art of "timing is everything" as well as how sometimes you will eventually meet one person out of the blue and there's a massive energy, charisma, passion and connection but it's not the right time. Months and years would pass and yet, you are still not together, but whenever you meet the person, it's electric, it's familiar, it's home. The protagonist, Oliver has this plan he created since day 1; get a good job, be financially stable, get a house, find a girl, marry her and have a family. Honestly speaking, we are all used to this "plan" that has been screwed tight into our minds since we were children or at least ever since we knew how to think properly. However, when Emily came into his life there was some sort of shift in his mind but he was still committed to his life plan.

Do you know the gut feeling when you see two people together and they are clearly in love? Don't you ever think it would be easier if when you are part of the two, in which is the half of the two and you know that the other person is in love with you? But that's not how it works in this world, does it? It takes time and commitment in a sense where, even if you are friends with an Oliver or an Emily and you guys haven't met up for at least a year or 6 months and one of you is engaged, you can never know. I was thinking about this while sitting on the toilet seat... "you cannot plan these things. Life. You shouldn't be planning every little detail because life is happening as we speak and if we keep on pondering on the future or the 'what if's ' nothing will ever happen." The only definite plan is our fate but we create our own story with few guidelines.

Oliver and Emily took nearly 10 years to receive a wake up call. They have this saying throughout the movie, which derived from Emily when they first met in New York, "don't... you'll ruin it." I guess back then she was afraid of the consequences and the possibility of Oliver falling for her when she wasn't ready for that type of love. In a way, I think we are all guilty of that.

Anyway, it got me thinking that the reason why it took them 10 years to actually be together and realise they love each other from the beginning is time. The time they spent apart and building their own lives. The time they spent together and be immersed by each other's company. And the time they each had their own heartbreaks and downfalls. They needed those times apart and together to realise that if it's meant to be, it will. But let's just leave it to this;

Life is an unfinished book and we are the writers of our own stories. Each person goes through one chapter to another until the end and our guidelines are the beliefs we hold, the principles. The prologue is what we would use to entice and intrigue whoever's willing to read and our epilogue is when we have reached that level of satisfaction in life; marriage? completing a bucket list? success? love? It's a mystery and adventure. It's a wanderer's train ride in which we signed up for to fill our pages. But we can only know in time.

Timing is everything.

22:59

The Pursuit of Happiness [I]

10:54

10:17

Babbles (Mild)

"We accept the love we think we deserve" - Perks of Being A Wallflower

After hours hearing Charlie's words inside of my head, I wonder if I still accept the love I think I deserve even if the love that was given was merely what normal women would consider; inefficient.

An egoist or perfectionist would not settle for anything less. However, with the quote to support my unethical conscience in the midst of my hazy mind, questions after questions stacking on top one another began to unravel something so... cliched and possibly a fact; this is the love I deserve.

Jotting down my battles and misadventures in the past trying to search for someone who was worthy to receive all the love I have stored inside my heart-shaped box, I realised I went for guys who cling to the idea of me. Those guys could never, ever accept the truth that I am indeed as messed up as they are, but I was not afraid to show it. What they did after was amusing as they made it easier for me to let go and move on. They either ran, verbally/emotionally abused me, or the best one so far... spread rumours on how little of a person I am. Mock my beliefs or words as you please, but if you are among the clever ones -- you would know better, I would've known better.

It is indeed safe to say that I have suffered a long-term love/hate relationship with relationships in general. Who wouldn't? Who wouldn't be traumatised by the wrongs and unfortunates circumstances in the life long battle to find love?
I guess what I am trying to let out through this mildly-cray babbles is that you are bound to experience a variety of love from individuals that may or may not contradict who you are, and you might give away bits of your heart until it feels hollow -- don't fret. If Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader had a heart to save his son, then obviously, you still have yours to save your own being because that last piece will conquer your whole and your heart knows best and it will only use it for the right person, which in Darth V's case; Luke. But as cliched as it may come off, for the lucky ones... they are right in front of you all along.

SO, in conclusion, this is probably the love I deserve from someone, but my heart and mind know me well enough that the only love I truly deserve is from myself. Alas, love yo self, accept yo self because no one's going to do it better than you do.

piscespixies

...continuation

a lot like love

The Pursuit of Happiness [I]

Babbles (Mild)

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