How does one really comprehend their emotions eloquently? I am currently feeling numerous of emotions all at once, hate, disgust, sadness, betrayal and pain... Oh the unbearable pain has been present for such a long time now -- it has been present ever since I could remember.

How does one sleeps with a heavy heart? They don't. They either stay awake and mourn or take a two doses of sleeping pills and doze off like a wee-baby. A little known fact about me, I am more terrified to have someone who genuinely cares and loves me as oppose to one that neglects -- only because I have this automatic mindset to be careful with my words and what I am putting out there as it might affect their feelings. But, at the same time, the dilemma is ongoing; if they love me, they need to accept the fact that I am imperfect and human, I feel, I say things. I don't really need their consent for vocalising my inner thoughts or else that would be pathetic.

I am in pain even if I am in a blessed place in life at the moment. I am on the brink to be completely empty but that does not mean I should stop trying to search for the unknown territories of love, affection and care. This kind of adventure will take time and a lot of patience, which is great for me as I am used to waiting...