piscespixies

12:28

love at 20

dusted paperbacks of fictional reality that blurred the lines of realistic romance a collection of old 80s films sorted alphabetically silly thinking of a boy putting up a boombox over his head playing my favourite song outside to convey his infatuation with screaming verses of young love aggravating the bitter skeptics who snide to the gesture circling around the record discs of sad British pop music thinking love comes in drumbeats and fast-paced guitar riffs the sound that exudes technicolour of make believe hoping someone would take me out tonight and if we die, at least we die...

11:40

21

i have not come into terms with my body i look in the mirror in 180 pinching the excess of skin that i despise the itching sensation of remorse it besets my psyche forcing me to run miles and miles i run further till my knees give in till my lungs burn till the numbness comforts me i stretch my arms up high my ribs caress the skin they look like they are about to come out of my body like the ghost from a movie that crawls out of the tv my knees are bruised but i...

12:43

a montage

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14:42

shadow (unfinished)

source; tumblr. I feel... I feel like a vacant vessel dispersing into the polluted air. My hands don't intertwine right, clothes are either too loose or tight -- I can't stop this addiction on finding a glove that fits. There are shadows that mirror my silhouette beside him (can I ever be certain that they're mine?). I'm lost in the depths of my insecurities... I don't want to go into deep... Which is ironic. My chest beats like a drum -- within each beat, I succumb into the sorrows, whatever they might be. The pain is expanding like...

09:33

zip it

take me over by ari roar i haven't written to anyone, including myself for one to two months. i would point my finger on the assignments that are indeed stacking right infront of my brain, but they are not entirely at fault. here i am typing fragments of views that i have gained throughout my hiatus while sitting on a toilet seat -- classy. my health has strained me a little, but that's not to say that i should stop writing completely, now does it? it's May, who have i become? i am not lazy at all, not a...

12:46

blue hues

server by dead sullivan my surroundings are in monochromatic moods that contain cinematic values. as i put on my headphones simultaneously, colours begin to spread out in heavenly hues and things make total sense. i am in the 'study room' right now, and there are collections of folders across the table in dusty shelves -- how long have they been there? i remember when we used to have a keyboard in this very room, my cousins and i would blast Red River Valley and sing along while reading out the lyrics from a song book. in addition, the...

00:07

the end

ukulele: G Em C D shrivel down, paper thin whispers in silence, i’m giving in pending letters, i didn’t send what’s the use, when it ends lifting both arms up up high feeling warmth on my hands is this the life set for me or is there something better something fair someone to love a goal to chase or hope to make look at me, i’m caving in finding pieces to fill vapoured lungs, vapour words wave them off, just like that stop the pettiness, oh little girl you chose this life, embrace it is this what’s set...

12:17

cynic

love by lana del rey, 22nd February 2017 it takes time to surrender and give in to the mystical yet fucked up social construct of love. sure, love can be beautiful when you are high of it -- like a direct euphoria from your first dose of nicotine on a tedious day; you've been waiting for it the whole time, your mind was occupied with the thought of igniting the sparks. The ecstasy is addictive but as the ambers touch your skin and burn you, everything turns into ashes. why do we do this to ourselves? are we...

20:21

it's worth the pain -- racking my brain

finding faces that could replace the sheer image of someone you once cherished empathising plights that shakes you to your core ... but for her, it's alright for her, it's going to be fine maybe she didn't love you enough maybe she was second best but this feeling never dies you know it ... but for her, it's alright for her, it's going to be fine your love grew silent you scratch your brain till blood-drops paint your dusty floor you're bathing in a red sea that gravitates to the moon ... ...

18:46

you

keaton, i'd embrace your fragile bones with the warmth of our shared sun. i'd tether the cosmos nebulas supernovas and wrap them as a gift, for you, you deserve the entire universe as you are part of it. sweetheart, you were given to us like the stars and moon you sung in verses with your heart on your sleeve. God must've spent more time on you for He created such an otherworldly being that saved those who are troubled and mourning lonely and heartbroken by pouring your celestial mind like morning coffee that a mere mortal depends on...

19:48

unfinished

when by dodie romanticising the past is an eternal bloom of unkempt gardens that wallow in asphalts wailing for a beacon of sunlight. it's fucked up but there's beauty in it and it stands out in a masochist's enigmatic mind because there's beauty in pain or pain is beauty -- however the saying goes. i'm guilty for this, extremely guilty. "never caught up in the moment, busy begging the past to stay..." the entire song embodies a greener looking time. as humans, i think we make a habit out of being infatuated with an idea of someone or something, which...

04:46

an early morning

sleepless by christine wu in an aeroplane over the sea by neutral milk hotel 04 21 on a rainy monday. my body seems to have a mind of its own without the brain knowing, how can that be? there's a lingering itch of thought that i need to scratch so it can disappear for eternity; i am indifferent. that's not technically news because i am like anyone else. it's possible to be different in certain aspects, however, it is close to impossible to be completely out of the ordinary... unless you're bowie or smokey. i haven't been sleeping...

22:09

a cup of melancholy

by Karen Wood isn't it a pity by george harrison i am currently in my room listening to george harrison's all things must past album while my sister talks little bits about Harrisongs Ltd and his top 5 best songs. i prefer a night like this -- sharing intricate details about one another because despite growing up together, we don't quite know each other as well as we thought, and it's refreshing. on an unrelated note, do you know what i truly yearn for? riding my bike before the sun rises with a melancholy song blasting on my headphones,...

09:08

i like being alone

Being alone is still taboo and mildly stigmatised. Extroverts or outgoing people would look down on an introvert or push them to step out of their comfort zone a little bit because in their heads, being alone is lonely and sad. Hence, one has to go out and surround oneself with people (even if they don't bother to genuinely ask how you are). Certainly, there are pros and cons. However, I personally prefer being alone. Why? Because I find comfort and peace in it. How? By accepting myself and be open to my own thoughts. I don't have...

18:17

fade away

Woman with a Parasol by Monet I can't think of any tune to relate to -- it's quiet. Death is quiet. When I look at this piece by Monet, what I see is a woman... A mother with her child. They are both staring at something that caught their attention, maybe it's us or maybe it's something else entirely. They look beautiful nonetheless. So, I wonder... For those who have passed on, my uncles, grandfathers, aunts and grandmothers; where are you? Are you still in pain? I hope you're in some place nice. Today, my (real) grandmother passed...

16:30

up in the air, 2017

if you were to ask me few years ago if i’ll be able to get out of the rabbit hole and slowly learn what it means to live life and achieve my dreams, i would laugh in disbelief. once a girl who depended on people’s acceptance and validation has shape shifted into this stranger whose intention is merely a pursuit of happiness. here i am up in the air a dreamer and curious being with fear of heights however, my worries evaporate every single time the sky is in arm’s reach it feels like i’m flying i know...