the disintegration of a solemn mind

source 5 a.m Do I look okay Do my eyes still sparkle  like supernovas  explosions of kaleidoscope  taunting the wea...

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5 a.m

Do I look okay
Do my eyes still sparkle 
like supernovas 
explosions of kaleidoscope 
taunting the weak 
are they not bleak
Do you notice the lines
Darkness embedded below 

Does my touch burn
like hours under le soleil 
didn't your mother tell you
it's not good without sunscreen
but
you adore the idea
of a sun kissed skin

Am I losing sleep 
can you tell by the untamed hair
no 
it's not a style

Have my pillows lost their purpose
they're nothing more than memory foams 
because lately  
recollections of yesteryear amplified 
as I lay 

oh dear... 
what am I saying
I'm shriveling
like a crumpled piece of paper in the corner 
filled with a medley of uncertainties 
and contradictions  

Why does my mouth taste bitter
as I bit life's generosity 
maybe
sugarcoating is preferred
it'd be like sipping on a lemonade
as I recite these words

Am I turning to dust 
disintegrating into a thin matter 
such as the mail
waiting...
waiting...

oh
but for now
let me shut these eyes
and dip into a golden slumber
someday...
one day...
I will sing you a lullaby.


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